There was a time when I had the joy and privilege of visiting my grandchildren once a week bearing gifts, playing games with them and bragging on their ability to perform a perfect pirouette all to their great delight. Each week they met me at the front door with screams of joy and excitement that "Mimi is here!"
That had all changed until recently. I have not been as popular since for about a year now I have been responsible for seeing that homework and chores are done, setting limits on the amount of TV they can watch, deciding whether or not they can go to visit their friends and the dreaded task of having to dole out consequences when rules were broken and admonishments were not followed. Sadly, I was lucky to even hear a "Bye Mimi" coming from the back of the house when I left to go home once their parents arrived.
I credit the change to bringing my own Mom with me. Mom has Alzheimer's and stays in a nursing home. I hate the fact that she has to be there so I go get her 3 times a week. Sitting around the table with the girls and Mom I make comments to Mom like:
"Don't I have beautiful grand kids Mom?" "Bella makes straight As and is going to be a great leader one day Mom." "Mia loves her friends." "Pounce has loved Mia since she was a baby and Mia loves Pounce."
As it turns out I have rediscovered that a little praise goes a long way and have not only heard "Bye Mimi" daily, but have also began to get daily hugs at the door as I leave to go home. Raising children is a big
responsibility and sometimes there are just so many "Nos" to say that we forget the most important ingredient: praise.
Originally posted on 9-12-08
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